#25: We’re All Scared of Our Potential with Fernando Urias
“If at first you don’t succeed, deny you were trying at all”
I remember hearing this quote in 7th grade from my buddy Ben and thought it was the coolest phrase ever. It sounded edgy, like I could show my parents, the teachers, and the system that they didn’t control me. I was in charge, and I am not going to play their games of forced education, rules, and social norms that had to be followed. This gave me a phrase to hide my faults and never endure the pain of truly failing at something; no longer did I have to give full effort. In fact, giving full effort was being a sell-out and engaging in society’s frivolous games and expectations that I was simply too cool for. Now I had something to blame instead of taking responsibility for my life: my lack of trying. So I started slowly applying it to every aspect of life. Sports, girls, school, I don’t need to try, just be cool man. Here’s the devil in this agreement:
It is based in truth.
You really can live this way and never fail. I used to find that immensely comforting on a subconscious level and still catch myself frequently trying to reduce my effort to save my reputation in case of defeat. This post is a good example…I published this with a few sentences about the show and nothing personal, nothing above the bare minimum. Why? Because when people don’t leave comments, don’t share this, maybe never even see this damn site, I will know the reason. I can lie to myself and continue the story of “IF I had actually written something worthwhile, people for sure would have noticed. Obviously nobody shared it, I was busy that day and didn’t have time to write substance. When I eventually do, people will love it! Next post I am definitely going to give it my all, really put it all out there. Yes, tomorrow. Tomorrow is the day.” What a bunch of bullshit. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy of this story we are telling ourselves and subsequently living which in turn make the story seem true.
Meet Fernando “Nando” Urias, a firefighter and professional roper in Southern Arizona. Like most of us, he spent decades being a self-proclaimed “class clown” and never putting 100% effort into anything from fear of failing. After being humbled by a respected mentor, he altered his mindset, threw out the lies he had been telling himself and committed to the goal regardless of the outcome. His hard work payed off after years of putting in the time to become the 2016 World Series of Team Roping Champion.
What exactly did he do and how can it help? Listen to his stories and hacks for changing your story and re-writing it to embrace the failure instead of pushing it away.
Some of the questions/topics we cover and where to find it in the show:
- What the hell is “roping?” (3:20)
- The pivotal decision that lead to his current success (5:10)
- What was the main factor that kept you motivated for 3 years to accomplish your goal? (10:05)
- How to think to get where you want to be (12:40)
- Choosing the right people to surround your life (13:40)
- How exactly did you go from being class clown and having no discipline to now being in the championship? (17:00)
- Overcoming his fear of what other people think (19:45)
- Where true confidence comes from (20:50)
- Finding safe people that will lift you up (23:05)
- What mantra do you repeat to yourself right at the moment of action? (27:20)
- Applying one main concept to every aspect of life (38:35)
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